This blog has been quite quiet for a wee while, since I came back to Scotland. Its kindof ironic that while one of the biggest political campaigns here was going on, I didn’t want to publish anything. But I’m starting to get withdrawal symptoms
A blog crash in February this year wiped out the entire blog, restoring it proved a pain in the arse. Its still not properly restored, and I’m a little embarrassed about the state of it. I miss my rather elegant theme, rather than this clunky thing.
I have been writing …but somehow I never finish. A lot of that is about things around independence, which has taken up most of my political attention moves so fast that the focus has moved on before I’ve properly gathered my thoughts, a lot of it is the practical activity which goes along with mass campaigns, and a lot of it is simply personal circumstances leaving me less time to write….and also having an ugly blog.
But I also felt other pressures.
A lot of what I wanted to write about in the independence campaign was negative – about the sexism that circulated some of the independence communities, about frustrations with feeling the independence movement was overshadowing some serious national issues (like Police Scotland carrying guns), and about our inward focus looking more towards Catelonia than the Ukraine, and the inability of some to recognise that the BBC lied just as much about other countries as it did about Scotland. But I so wanted to win. So much so, that the cost of keeping stum about sexism, militarism and narrow nationalism in the movement was a price worth paying…just for a little while ….just till after the
revolution referendum, comrades.
Blogging from Greece, I was far less likely to run into someone casually who read my blog. It was aftermath of a blogpost that sparked my departure to Greece, and I’m very conscious that here I’m not so anonymous. Keeping your own blog is much more personal than writing for other’s blogs. All your writings are together in the one place and as you become politically aware, your previous prejudices become transparent.
Back in 2006, I wrote “Socialism, Feminism and Prostitution“. I wince now when I read some of the language in it and when Socialist Resistance republished “On the Need for Women Only Spaces“, I had to edit to remove some of the latent cissexism. But transparency is also accountability, the original is still up there, and I own the cissexism within. Its kindof cringy to see things that you have previously written that if you were to write now you would write differently, but political development is a lifelong process.
Although I write often about emotive subjects which have arouse personal reactions, this blog is not a counselling service; although I believe strongly in many causes, I reserve the right to criticise and call out concerning discourses that emerge from within them (while recognising that sometimes, like everyone else, I just cant be arsed), and I appreciate that on occasions my prejudices shine through, and I welcome constructive critique of them.
But the withdrawal symptoms I fear are too strong, so my political musings and wanderings are back to be inflicted on you (or ignored if you choose).