Creepy Dudez Inc.

Flicking though the Daily Mail website, as is my occasional guilty indulgence, I came across a story about the launch of the I-Phone 5.  Which included *this* picture, of two blokes who were apparently “queuing to help vulnerable women”, while also offering “seats for sale”.


So off I went to investigate

…at their website.

…and OH.

…JUST OH.

Said in a loud highpitched shriek.

Lets start with their homepage.  In pastel colours and with soft lines, it seduces you to their cause.  Explaining that they help “vulnerable women”, against a soft focus background of a young made up woman with pleading hands, advertises their “social enterprise” with a little butterfly, centring in on the request to donate.  So far so sickly.  Then you scroll down to a picture of four doodz sitting outside the Apple Store where they are apparently first in the queue.  Bizarre, quite unconnected, but hey ho, maybe we need to look into this further.

Lets move on to these “vulnerable women” who they are apparently queuing up for.  (I’m getting a bit creeped out already at this point).  They (correctly) note that one in four women are victims of domestic abuse, then refer to this as “an incident”.  Given that most victims of domestic abuse sustain multiple incidents, that shows quite a lack of understanding of its nature.  They say that their social enterprise wants this figure reduced (erm, thats nice), but cant necessarily do that BUT

we can be somewhere that vulnerable women find more approachable and accessible for them to come and talk to someone get support and guidance with what they have or are experiencing in their lives..

So erm, this social enterprise is a place where vulnerable women come to talk to someone, but they dont think that they can have any effect on the actual level of vulnerability?  This is getting seriously creepy.  Apparently these “vulnerable women” will come to them through various London and national charities.  Really?  Who in hells name would pass over the details of women who are identified as vulnerable to four blokes that have no understanding of domestic violence to give them “support and guidence” and dont particularly see reducing the actual level of violence as in any way significant.

Maybe looking at the details of their social enterprise “Hope Boutique Bakery” will shed some more light on this.  Here it expands on their definition of “vulnerable women” to include

women, who have previously been caught in trafficking, prostitution or have been abused, attacked or assaulted at some point in their lives.

Mmmm…dunno about you, but I’m seriously creeped out at this stage, but lets read on, all about “these women” who apparently all have the same lifegoal.  Hope Boutique Bakery will teach them to “trust again”, “build self-confidence” and above all “make them happy”.   They can even “earn a living”. ( Imagine!  What a fabulous place for those poor fallen women!)  But above all they can “find an alternative to what they might have been doing in the past which caused them to get to the vulnerable state”.  (Presumably the vulnerable state that leads you to you end up working for CreepyDudes Inc.)  And how are they going to do this?  By developing their baking skills so that they can “produce the most delicious cakes you will ever taste”.

And thus the problem of vulnerable women is sorted.

By producing delicious cakes, they will transcend the vulnerable state where they get walloped for burning the dinner by learning to cook.  With these delicious cakes, they will be able to bribe their traffickers into giving them back their passports.  By offering a delicious cake to the man who next jumps out of a bush with a knife, they will be able to flee while he is munching on it.  They can ouwit their next John by offering a delicious cake and allowing him to be so seduced by it, that he forgets to fuck them.

I have absolutely no idea who these creepy dudes are, but they have apparently already raised over £2K.  At a time when it looks like every single women’s refuge in the UK may close, and women are thrown into homelessness, poverty and destitution as a result of the benefit changes, it is absolutely chilling that women are going to be dependent on creepy doodz queuing up to teach them that they get assaulted because they can’t bake nice cakes.

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